Archive for the ripper

Florida Man Kills Bobcat With Bare Hands

Posted in Man Wins with tags , , on November 4, 2009 by thebeastkiller

cat strangle

Beast Killer: Dale Rippy

Beast Killed: Crazed Bobcat

Weapon of Choice: Bare Hands

Let’s get this straight: bobcats are not cute and cuddly. This is not your lovey-dovey feline who just wants to sleep all day and eat lasagna. If a bobcat had a chance to sucker-punch you, it’d take it because bobcats are crazy. This is especially true when the crazy they have is full-blown rabies. But this is one bobcat who sucker-punched the wrong human. His name: Dale Rippy aka The Ripper.

First Coast News reports that the 62-year-old Vietnam veteran came face to fang with the rabid wildcat on his back porch when the cat began to slash and bite him. Maybe it was the arousing taste of blood in Dale Rippy’s lips for the first time in forty years or maybe just the rabies coursing through his veins, but Rippy went balls-out nuts. Knowing that to best a crazy cat you must think like one, Rippy pounced on his enemy, grabbing the cat’s throat and strangling it to death. Rippy was treated for his wounds and rabies while commended by animal control saying that “if he’d let the cat go, there could have been more victims.”

FmF salutes you, Dale Rippy. Your crazed rabid instinct and unwavering death grip has tipped the scale that much closer to victory. You’ve saved our women and children from the biological warfare the animals have shamefully reduced themselves to and taken one for the team. Now go back home and pet your sweet little pet tabby, Whiskers. She’d never hurt you and if she does, you know what to do.